It's Your Day, Mom.

Moms are important, and on a day like today you can only ask one thing:

• What has she done for me lately?

Nothing against my Mom, but she's been milking this holiday from me for almost 36 years now. Talk about resting on your laurels. If she still wants to receive this kind of recognition, she'll have to step up and produce a bit more.

Yeah, yeah, scraped knees and boo-boos aside, she did that shit ages ago. Want to impress me now? Make one of my mortgage payments. (That's better than kissing my owwie better.) Still taking credit for all that other stuff is like me still bragging about that Home Run I got in T-Ball.

What you're doing now is what counts, not what you did in the past, right?

I'll tell her about the new guidelines, and if she doesn't meet expectations by next year, she can forget that card, flowers and phone call.

That'll show her.




Later.


(Please don't show this to my Mom - she'll kick my ass.)
Love you Mom, thanks for everything.